A question I asked many times a few years back but not so much lately. I always felt that it was their “ego” that was hiding their smile and playful nature. Personally, I promised myself that I would remain who I am and be everyone’s “friend” as I grew into this role.
Year 1: I kept to that commitment, being goofy, fun and everyone’s best friend was working (considering I had zero employees and vendors).
Year 2: Still kept hard to that commitment, maybe even more committed - all our partners LOVED me and worked harder for me (maybe I had about 3 employees, all great people).
Year 3: “Hmm…this person is so used to being my friend, I can’t get them to take me seriously…” or “I just got taken advantage of and swindled by that vendor.”
Fast forward to today, I see myself slowly becoming more resolved, quiet and “businessy” - you must be thinking “No! Don’t do that! You have to be yourself, don’t become one of those people…”
Honestly, I probably never will - I just don’t see it in myself. HOWEVER, with that said, I’m also seeing that the need to reflect authority, decisiveness and control are incredibly important as the team grows, business grows and more parties get involved.
The vulchers are out there and you need to let them see that you have a few fangs too in case you need to defend yourself and your company.
Bottom line is that I have realized that it’s not that the CEOs are cold and rude by nature. A CEO (at least a genuine one) has many pressures on his mind, for example, payroll. The faster you grow, the more people you have (employees and their families) relying on you for their livelihood.
Add to that hungry investors, contractors, vendors, office politics and the 800 other things that can go wrong and I wonder why the heck anyone even WANTS this job? Well, some of us crazy people get “off” on the adrenaline it creates.
It brings the question to mind: “Would you rather be loved or feared as a leader?”
My answer: I’d rather be respected for which I have to inspire love and infect just the right amount of fear.
Not trying to sound cynical, but by “infect fear” I simply mean that everyone in your company and around it HAS to know that you mean business and won’t take “crap.” You have to show action and you have to prove that you easily make tough calls - that in and of itself puts just the right amount of “fear” in people.
But, again, perhaps fear is not the right word, I think respect covers it much better.
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