Can You Change People?
May 2nd, 2008
Think of this from both sides, business and personal. This topic comes after I had a long talk with a very good friend today who is having relationship troubles. At the very same time, there have been some “personnel” related work troubles on this end.
At times these things can call for actions you don’t feel comfortable making. The obvious “out” most use is to convince themselves that “he/she will change…give him/her another chance.”
My opinion (and I speak to myself just as much as anyone reading this) is that we’re filling our minds with lies to make us feel better because we’re too scared to take that “harsh and hard step.” People do not change (unless something drastic happens in their life or they really decide to do it themselves). I suppose a more accurate statement is that YOU cannot change anyone.
The odds are heavily against you.
In business, you deal with people. Where you have people, you have differences. Learn now to move swiftly and make hard decisions. The next time you catch yourself saying, “let me give them another 2 weeks, they’ll change…” - don’t.
Again, I speak this to myself as much as anyone else. I find it’s much easier to type than it is to do.
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Tags: change
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Well yes and no I’d say.
people don’t change but they do change their minds quite a lot.
Just look at “follow-up emails”.
Kind of funny thinking about you can send an email to a person try to sell them something but they don’t buy it.
Then 2 days later you can send them the exact same e-mail and they buy.
People change their minds.
Repetitive marketing is something all the big boys do.
I do believe you can change peoples way of thinking, but it sure takes more than a “look if you do this instead of that and this instead of that you’ll do way better”.
I remember i once went trough a e-mail course on basic internet marketing, after about 12 months of reading emails and watching online videos the course was over and in the last email was a link to an on-line mp3 player which was loaded with a speech from Steven Jobs (or is it steve? who cares the ipod is cool lol).
Anyway he said something very interesting.
He talked about how he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and was told to say his goodbyes and then it went something like:
“And i can now say with a little more certainty than when death was only a tool to get moving. Nobody wants to die. Not even the ones that want to go the heaven wants to die to get there”
And it’s so true, that speech did change how i choose to deal with life.
I started being more aggressive about reaching my own goals and dreams
, you might not be able to change people.
But you can give them a push to help them change themselves.
Seen from a biz-perspective it’s kind of useless. If you have an employer having a bad habit of being awfully late and take many days off saying he’s sick (as an example).
I’d tell him it ain’t acceptable and if he continues after that I’d kick him out.
Now a days there’s lot of legal stuff about being able to kick out people.
It can be done fast if there’s a employer agreement that states something about it but I know nothing about that (plus i think I’m getting off topic here).
All in all, i agree you can’t change people, but i think you can push them in the right direction to help them change themselves.
But only recommend doing that in your personal life for people you care about and not when it comes down to biz and hard cash.
Thats my thoughts anyways,
take care all.
Daniel.
May 3rd, 2008 at 4:35 am
Daniel,
Well put - I agree, how you act on this is very different on personal and business matters.
May 7th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
NO, you can put them in the right place though.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
hahah zach, that means you can fire them ?