Why Are CEOs so Cold and Rude?
May 3rd, 2008
A question I asked many times a few years back but not so much lately. I always felt that it was their “ego” that was hiding their smile and playful nature. Personally, I promised myself that I would remain who I am and be everyone’s “friend” as I grew into this role.
Year 1: I kept to that commitment, being goofy, fun and everyone’s best friend was working (considering I had zero employees and vendors).
Year 2: Still kept hard to that commitment, maybe even more committed - all our partners LOVED me and worked harder for me (maybe I had about 3 employees, all great people).
Year 3: “Hmm…this person is so used to being my friend, I can’t get them to take me seriously…” or “I just got taken advantage of and swindled by that vendor.”
Fast forward to today, I see myself slowly becoming more resolved, quiet and “businessy” - you must be thinking “No! Don’t do that! You have to be yourself, don’t become one of those people…”
Honestly, I probably never will - I just don’t see it in myself. HOWEVER, with that said, I’m also seeing that the need to reflect authority, decisiveness and control are incredibly important as the team grows, business grows and more parties get involved.
The vulchers are out there and you need to let them see that you have a few fangs too in case you need to defend yourself and your company.
Bottom line is that I have realized that it’s not that the CEOs are cold and rude by nature. A CEO (at least a genuine one) has many pressures on his mind, for example, payroll. The faster you grow, the more people you have (employees and their families) relying on you for their livelihood.
Add to that hungry investors, contractors, vendors, office politics and the 800 other things that can go wrong and I wonder why the heck anyone even WANTS this job? Well, some of us crazy people get “off” on the adrenaline it creates.
It brings the question to mind: “Would you rather be loved or feared as a leader?”
My answer: I’d rather be respected for which I have to inspire love and infect just the right amount of fear.
Not trying to sound cynical, but by “infect fear” I simply mean that everyone in your company and around it HAS to know that you mean business and won’t take “crap.” You have to show action and you have to prove that you easily make tough calls - that in and of itself puts just the right amount of “fear” in people.
But, again, perhaps fear is not the right word, I think respect covers it much better.
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May 3rd, 2008 at 11:22 am
Pretty hard making a discussion about this one, i fully agree
I never really thought of CEOs as cold though.
Every time I’ve contacted a “internet guru” or anything I’ve gotten a positive response more than 75% of the time. But of cause i don’t really write to them every day unless i got something on my mind.
I think when you do business with a person he’s foremost a business contact and then secondary a friend.
So example if you had him on the phone you’d first start talking business and afterwards maybe something like “so hows the kids?” lol.
If i was a CEO I’d be respected not loved or feared.
People aren’t afraid of people who run business by fear they rather think “he’s going down” and if a person think you’re always the friendly guy they could think more like “well he probably wont get mad if i did this”.
So i believe “RESPECT” is the keyword here.
My dad owns a company and the last couple of years 25% of all businesses related to his has shut down due to hard time on the market.
I have countless of times seen him call a vendor saying “if i ordered it for tomorrow I’ll receive it tomorrow or I’ll find someone else who can”.
I know the only reason he actually can call and say something like that is because he’s respected and maybe a little feared too “he never had a long fuse lol”.
Well thats my 5 cents.
Anybody agree or am i running low on fuel here (gas prices sucks lets hope i ain’t lol).
Cheers,
Daniel.
May 7th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
I believe there is a big difference between corporate CEO’s and small town, home grown CEO’s.
The mega corporates have long ago lost their individualism. They have to operate on that “mega system, by the book” cut and dried format.
My husband and I ran a multimillion, small town business. Small town, like only 600 people. In that same town there were most likely 20 other millionaires. Each one however were just the guy next door, the family we went to church with, we sat on the gym bench together as our kids played ball. They all started from small family owned businesses and grew into multi-faceted large corporations.
However, each one still maintained that “family” like atmosphere, with strong leadership and even stronger respect. And when the UPS truck slid off my driveway during an ice storm, I called my friend, the CEO of the national bridge building company, who lived down the road, and he sent over his monster crane to lift the UPS truck up and put it back on the road.
That’s it, friend to friend, neighbor to neighbor.
There comes a time when a small business crosses over that line and become a bigger business, with bigger problems, bigger payrolls, and bigger issues. We must be willing to adapt and grow with it or move on.
I still like the small town atmosphere, so we still hang in there. Growing is not so bad after all.
Warmly,
Sue
May 8th, 2008 at 5:07 am
Sue, what a great point you make! In the early days when I ran my business myself and had a small customer base, I had the same feeling…
But today, it would just not be possible, but still trying to keep that mentality growing.
Mystery CEO